Discouraged

Yesterday was a bit of a drag. For more than two weeks, I've spent most of my time lying down, because of the fatigue and weakness (and possibly a virus) brought on by the chemo. Although my back was behaving quite nicely, I was keenly aware that my muscles are rapidly atrophying and I need some exercise. I walked to Gerrard Square Friday morning with my small cart and picked up some things I needed; it didn't hurt, although I was a little tired when I got home, but later in the day my lower back started to ache. Meanwhile, I'd been developing a tight pain in my right shoulder and the side of my neck -- the result of lying around too much, in my opinion -- so between the two pains, by yesterday I could barely move. I literally spent the whole day watching old episodes of Sex and the City on my computer, getting up just a couple of times to try to eat. I can't turn my head at all, and the pain is shooting down my right arm. It's even hard to raise a spoon to my mouth. I also have a hacking cough now.

I'm frustrated: I'm pretty sure lying down for a couple of days will make the lower-back pain go away, but I'm also pretty sure that the more I lie down, the worse my neck pain will become. Anyway, going to bed last night was excruciating -- it's been weeks since that's been true. It was a day when I felt like I simply can't make any headway, healthwise.

But I have decided to go ahead today with a long-planned trip to the Royal Botanical Gardens in Hamilton with Diane and Jill. I'll need the wheelchair, which I haven't done for weeks. Still, it's a beautiful day and I must do something to cheer myself up.