Two weeks and counting...

It's been nearly two weeks since the first Docetaxel treatment and I want to say that today I'm starting to feel human again, but I don't want to be premature; I always seem to feel worse in the evening. This morning I did a laundry and hung the clothes on the line and then had to lie down for 20 minutes before I had enough energy to get in the bathtub. I think I'm feeling OK and then I walk up the stairs or around the block and it's like I'm walking through syrup or have 50-pound weights tied to my ankles. I had a fever again two nights ago, and I'm still coughing and have a drippy nose. It's really hard to tell how much of this is chemo-related, how much Neupogen-related and how much is due to some kind of virus I must have picked up, which doesn't seem to get a lot worse or better, just lingers. I can't believe I have to go through two more of these treatments. I can't believe some people do 10 or more.

I'm trying to enjoy the weather, which is my favourite -- sunny and cool. Soon it will be a typical Toronto summer and I'm dreading that. I can honestly use the word "debilitating" when it comes to describing humid weather's effects on me, and they just get worse every year. Aside from the dripping hot flashes, I get dizzy and faint and extremely tired even when I'm not having chemo and radiation, so God knows what this summer will be like. Maybe it's time to buy some of that cheap property in Arizona...

I'm finally catching up to the episodes of Sex and the City in which Samantha has breast cancer treatment. Wondering if I'd have the nerve to go wigless to the Magazine Awards gala.

Pollyanna moments:

• My 13-year-old nephew came over on Saturday, along with my pal Rosemary, and did some gardening for me while I looked on weakly. I know it was not any 13-year-old boy's idea of a great way to spend a Saturday, and I really appreciated it.
  
• The lily-of-the-valley are blooming and perfuming my yard and kitchen.
• I heard Jian Ghomeshi play a tune on CBC Radio's Q by a Toronto band called Holy Fuck that perked up a rather bad day for me. It was called "Lovely Allen" and it's electronica music, a genre I don't usually have much of a taste for, but this particular song is cheery and fun and came at me just at a moment when I needed cheering. Here's where you can see them play it on Q. It was fun watching these young guys having fun playing it.
  
• My neighbour Daryl rang my doorbell the other day while he was mowing his lawn and presented me with a four-leaf clover!