The Real and the Fake

Yesterday on CBC Radio One's "The Current," there was an item on Stephen Harper's new plan for giving $1,200 a year to parents for child care (in place of the former Canadian government's plan to put money into public daycare spaces). Anna-Maria Tremonti interviewed a spokesperson from Real Women of Canada, Diane Watts, about the topic. A lot of what Watts said sounded sensible. She mentioned polls that found a majority of women state that they'd rather stay home with their kids than work, which doesn't surprise me, though the numbers don't go very deep in explaining why. But she even mentioned what to me is the important part -- that many other women polled would rather stay home with their kids part-time and work part-time.

I don't know anybody, no matter how much they love their work, who wouldn't prefer to do less of it. Personally, I think couples who can raise families and sustain two careers (not necessarily jobs) and not buckle under the strain are unusual (that means you, Bonnie Fuller). But they do exist, and more to the point, there are many more families who would like to work out some combination of work, career and child-rearing (not to mention extended family and community lives) that allows both mother and father to lead a balanced life and not go broke. Watts even conceded that men might want to stay home with their kids. She tossed around that Conservative word "choice," which always sounds great.

But how can you trust an organization called "Real Women"? Right up front, the name implies that there are "fake women" out there. (Which reminds me of the offensive name the online magazine Salon used to give to one if its opinion sections: "Mothers Who Think." Implying that most mothers don't?)

And who would the fake women be? Those of us who choose careers and don't have children at all? Those who do manage the admittedly difficult feat of raising a family and having a career without wrecking their kids' lives or their own? Those who want a combination of work/career and child-rearing but can't manage it in a society that's so materialistic we've priced life right out of our range -- or who do manage it by opting out of the consumerist treadmill that fuels capitalism? Those who have husbands who are willing to take on child-rearing tasks previously thought to be unmanly? (Are they fake men?) Those who have no choice but to work? Choice may be a Conservative buzzword when it comes to daycare, but a Manichaean phrase like Real Women doesn't allow for any choice at all, it seems to me.