In case anyone is actually reading this (!): this afternoon I am taking my MacBook laptop to the Apple store to figure out why I can't get wireless internet, and I expect I will have to surrender the machine for a few days. What I will do with no internet or email access, I don't know, though I do know how much that embarrasses me. But right now, being home alone in this situation, that contact is crucial for me.
On the other hand, I'm a Luddite when it comes to phones, and last weekend bought my very first cordless set so that I don't have to get all tangled up in phone lines while lying on the couch. I never liked cordless phones because it seemed like people's batteries were always dying, and you couldn't find the damn handsets, and the reception was poor and you could hear other people's conversations. My house is not that big and I had a regular phone in nearly every room. But so far my new portables are working pretty well, and I feel silly that I waited so long to buy them.
So...the surgery takes place in three days. I hope I'll be able to blog again soon. I'm trying to ignore the utter self-absorption this practice displays and to instead appreciate how much writing helps me keep my panic at bay. No one else is forced to read it!
The other thing that's happening today that may change my situation somewhat: I have to stop taking the anti-inflammatory so that it doesn't promote bleeding during and after the surgery. It has apparently been keeping my bone pain at a 7 instead of an 11; when I had to stop taking it for a few days after the biopsy, the pain was so intense I got trapped one morning in my kitchen and had to call my neighbour to come in and move me to the couch. I screamed so loudly I was afraid my other neighbours would call the cops. (When I'm taking the NSAID, they just hear me moan a lot, and I hope their imaginations are broad enough that they believe I'm having wild sex...) Now I'm going to have to rely on more Tylenol 3s, which make me really dopey. Dopier than usual.
Oh, and by the way, I have told my mother about my illness and no one need worry about letting the cat out of the bag.
Pollyanna moment: My friend and neighbour Diane fixed my upstairs toilet so that it doesn't run anymore!
At the NMAs, June 2009
Award-winning bald head
About Me
- Cynthia Brouse
- I'm a Canadian magazine writer and copy editor, a part-time teacher and corporate trainer, a menopausal single woman, a devoted aunt, a home owner, a breast-cancer survivor (so far), and a few other things I won't get into yet.
PIctures with hair (and beer)
Cynthia's 51st, July 2008
Consulting Bob Newhart in Chicago
Cynthia, September 2008
Me, dramatic?
3 years old
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5 comments:
I'm reading it! Don't stop. It gives me great pleasure to check in on/with you as often as I like and when you've posted, I'm especially happy to get all the details and your state of mind at the same time.
I hope your computer woes are over but I will try to reach by that old-fashioned phone tomorrow.
I'm reading it too and loving it. I just got back to Toronto tonight and it was great to find all your updates. It's a wonderful way to stay in touch and I'm especially glad the writing of it provides you with a wee reprieve. (How many adjectives did you say?) I have a bad head cold so won't be able to see you for a few days at least but I will call. Until then, I hope your pollyanna moments continue to include food and that the feck'n pain soon subsides.
I looked up clothesline saga on google and found your site. I am curious too. BTW, in case you didn't know, Bob Dylan has a song called clothesline saga. It takes place on Janurary the 30th. Everybody was feelin fine. So...
Happy Clothesline Saga Day and good luck - Pat
Thanks, Anonymous. I named my blog after that hilarious Bob Dylan song, but I had temporarily forgotten that he sings about everybody feeling fine on January 30. Since I am having surgery on January 29, I appreciate the sentiment!
I wrote a wonderful (okay, perhaps a so so comment) on your latest blog and then had to go to frickin' google (namaste) and create an identity for this blog and subsequently lost the clever comment! Well, just wanted to say that I feel happily close to you when I read these entries and feel that they are doing a great service to all of us who care about you, so keep it up. It's like having a chat with you and hearing your incredible voice! Will be sending you much amor on the 30th.
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