Still kickin'

I got home from the hospital late this morning, underarm drain clipped to my clothes. The surgery, from the surgeon's viewpoint, went right in every way -- he says the lump was easy to remove, he got it all, and he took out a suspicious little thing in my breast near my old incision that is probably scar tissue, but -- better safe than sorry. The next hurdle: Of the numerous lymph nodes he removed from my armpit for examination, how many will turn out to have contained cancer cells besides the big guy? The higher the number, the toastier my future. I see him again on Feb. 11.

He is the antithesis of the surgeon stereotype. In the OR, he held my hand and stroked it, position and repositioned a pillow under my knees. The OR team were very kind and professional -- wish I could say the same for the witch who watched over me in recovery. I made barely a peep because she was so scary, but when I asked two or three times to get a pillow or reposition a pillow to ease my pain (I have fractures in my spine, for God's sake), she rolled her eyes, glared at me as though I were a huge inconvenience, and wordlessly and desultorily did the deed. She harangued the poor woman next to me, who was moaning and crying. "You're OK!" she snapped. Then I was transferred to a semi-private room where I was all but ignored by a nurse with the personality of a twig, who also sneered at me as though I were the village idiot imposing on her day. Where do they get these people? The two nurses after that were lovely, though. I can see how overworked they are, and I'm sure they're burned out.

Either one of my brothers was with me the whole day long, and now a friend is nursing me. The back pain is pretty overwhelming now, much worse than the surgery pain. Tomorrow I will start taking an anti-inflammatory again, and hope that helps.

Pollyanna moments:

• A friend sent a biography of Led Zeppelin -- perfect sick-bed reading.
• My students sent hyacinths, which make the house smell lovely.
• After a rough night in the hospital bed, at 6:00 a.m. I took my IV pole and walked up and down the hall several times. It was good to be reminded that despite my back, my legs still work.