Frequent flyer

I had my last chemo treatment yesterday, but I didn't leave the Medical Daycare department with the fanfare with which I made my departure after chemo five years ago (hugs all around, cards and homemade cookies for the nurses). At that time, I guess I made myself believe I wouldn't be back there for a long time, and I did get five years. Mind you, I've been there to see my oncologist every six months, but at least I was able to avoid the chemo room.

But this time, it's different. For one thing, I'll be back there next week for a monthly injection of Zometa, the bone-strengthening drug (I had it a couple of months ago, and they forgot to keep giving it to me). For another, let me quote my favourite Medical Daycare nurse, Marlene, a somewhat sardonic and tough character with a marshmallow heart. Now that I'm a chronic breast cancer sufferer, I enjoy her probably long-practised lines that don't deny the reality I'm living with but put a distancing spin on it. When I asked if I would be getting my Porta-Cath removed soon, Marlene said, "You'll have to ask the doctor, but probably not. You're a frequent flyer now." In other words, I'll most likely be back and may need more chemo, and removing the Porta-Cath is complicated. Then another sweetheart of a nurse, Dorothy, told me of a man, a doctor, who had lymphoma and after his chemo refused to have the Porta-Cath removed because he was superstitious that the instant it was gone, the cancer would return. He ended up keeping it for five years (it has to be flushed every month, but otherwise isn't much trouble except cosmetically) until he finally decided to believe in his good fortune.

Dr. Lee wants to at least wait until I've had my radiation treatment and then a CT scan and bone scan (and I guess Dr. Second's MRI will tell us something, too) before deciding what's up and whether to remove the Porta-Cath. So I guess September/October will be the big reveal.

Meanwhile, my back is troubling me. Despite resuming my full dose of Naproxen four days ago, the left shoulder-blade pain is still pretty bad. I can walk fairly well (had a great half-hour power walk this morning, and, because I'm on steroids and it's cool outside, did not feel wasted at the end), but it hurts like hell when I lie down or sit. This is quite different from previous pain; the other different thing is that -- fortunately, or perhaps unfortunately -- it responds to Tylenol 3. I'm trying to avoid taking it, but it makes me feel great, so it's hard to resist. This morning the news is all about government efforts to lower the recommended dosage of acetaminophen, since people are overdosing on it all over (Globe and Mail story here), but I think I'm taking much, much less than the daily limit I heard one doctor say was preferable (2,600 mg as opposed to the current limit of 4,000). Anyway, I have some pure codeine pills without acetaminophen, so I can try those. And hope not to turn into a drooling codeine addict.

By Friday I will probably be feeling weak and tired, not to mention tingly (it's dawned on me that that happens not just because it takes a few days for the chemo to kick in, but because I'll have stopped taking the three-day cycle of steroids), but my mom is coming to visit so I can pretend to be a kid this weekend. Poor Mom. I was again diligent about keeping my fingertips covered in ice chips during yesterday's injection; doing that last time meant I didn't have any soreness in my fingertips at all. On the first round of Docetaxel, we didn't do the ice thing soon enough or correctly, and for two weeks it felt like someone had whacked each of my fingertips with a hammer. For some reason, though I haven't stuck my toes in ice, they seem to be fine.

Pollyanna moments:

• My hair is starting to grow back!
• I've booked a trip to Alberta at the end of the month to visit friends and rest in the non-humid climate before I begin my daily radiation treatments on July 28. And I've booked a two-day trip to Stratford with Mom and some friends to see Cyrano de Bergerac and West Side Story and stay in a nice B&B.
  
• Happy Canada Day!